"The best map in the world doesn't matter if you don't know where you
are... most of us, when it comes to figuring out where we're headed in
life, never stop to ask the simple question "Where am I?" 1
Without delving deeply into my childhood - which I feel was unremarkable (but that may be food for thought at a later time), let me start out by telling you where i've been.
I grew up in East Setauket, NY; went through school there and finished up at Ward Melville H.S. I think that some people thought I dropped out in my senior year because I was basically not there. I took only the required classes, the ones needed for graduation. I actually graduated with more credits than needed and I left the traditional classrooms of WMHS in January (graduating early) though I still walked with my class in June. I am sure my younger self probably cared if people thought I dropped out but I know I didn't and I know I started my college career at that point.
It didn't take me long to move into a full time office role and relegate school to the part-time position it remained in for most of my adult life. When you are young and making money, who wants to stop that and attend classes all day? My office life began at an electronics supply company in Hauppauge. I worked alongside another, doing something insignificant that I can't even remember now. I flirted with one of the sales guys who I thought was "the bomb" - even though he was married and I had a boyfriend! In addition to my mystery tasks, I was the switchboard lunch coverage person. Yuck. Thus began my pure hatred for all things "RECEPTIONIST." Never since then have I even considered a job that utilized the word receptionist.
I'm going to just list - literally - all of my job positions since that time:
NY Telephone - Directory Assistance Operator - 2 years?
Strathmore Bagels - self explanatory - 2 years (while doing some vocational training)
Perlson Touhy & Company CPAs - Office Admin - 6 years
Stony Brook Family Medicine - Exec. Assistant to the Chairperson - 3 years
Long Island Assoc. for AIDS Care - Events Assistant/Events Manager - 2.5 years
The Knox School - Executive Assistant to Director of Admissions - 10 months
Peconic Bay Medical Center - Human Resources Clerk (temp) - 11 months
Riverhead Charter School - Upper school Office Admin/Nutrition program - 3 yrs 10 mo
Gordon L Seaman, Inc. - Executive & Personal Assistant to owner - 2 years so far
There appears to be steps forward and then steps back into what's comfortable. I am good at "assisting" as much as I dislike the title. It's an easy position for me to rely upon when I don't know what to do. When I look at all of this switching positions and companies I realize it has more to do with dissatisfaction and/or boredom than anything else. I become uncomfortable with what I'm settling for and look at other (apparently similar) positions to spark my interest. I've become very good at taking a multitude of tasks and performing them so efficiently that I can spend time doing varied personal tasks during the work day-like looking for a new job.
I have dream jobs in my head. Why I consider these dream jobs I don't know but a few of them have been a proofreader for a publishing company; a partner in a personal chef business; opening a "hang out" location for kids (like a teen's only soda shoppe) with food & board games, etc. most recently - since i'm so good at assisting - I've thought of using that knowledge (nearly 30 years) and putting myself out there as a virtual personal assistant.
I want to take "Where I've been" and utilize it to understand "Where I am." Then, and only then, can I figure out "Where I am headed" in life.
1. excerpt from Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work That Matters by Jon Acuff; ch 1
Friday, September 25, 2015
Friday, September 11, 2015
How to get through this day
Every year I get a feeling of awareness for this day as it approches. I wonder what I can do, how I will commemorate it, what I will wear, how i will feel....
Then it's here. And I dress as I normally do, I don't set out to do anything special to commemorate it; I just think and feel sad.
I think about what I was doing for every minute of that day from the moment Scott and Todd reported that a plane flew into the first tower - when everyone still thought it was a weird accident. Walking into my office building with my supervisor, Jeff Reynolds, and others...Turning on the television to watch the coverage and seeing; SEEING a second plane fly into the other tower!
It was the most surreal moment and we all freaked out. Nothing confirmed yet about hijacked airplanes, that was still an unthinkable option.
Then the reports came in... 2 other planes.... Pentagon......missing plane..... all airtraffic downed. The phone lines all jammed up. Trying to reach my husband in the city, calling my sister in law's office line just 2 blocks over from the trade center. Calling my mother in law. The day care center where my kids were. The cousins who are FDNY.
It was just one long nightmarish day.
So, today is the day. Already at 9a.m. I've shed tears as I read on Facebook everyone's memories. As I watch the Budweiser commercial, and listen to songs, And I think about all of the lives lost not just that day but in the years following:
From the war on terror that is still going on
From the cancers that have been diagnosed from working at ground zero in all of that horrible aftermath
From the lives taken due to despair and distress of living without loved ones, and PTSD
Then I think about how this country of people - who came together so beautifully in the aftermath of that tragic day - has slowly over 14 years erroded into the very kind of people that the terrorists so despise and hoped to turn us into. We fight among ourselves, Adults and children are self centered and grasping. Everything is a joke to be posted on Facebook and Youtube and Instagram. Someone's shame is another person's viral video..and then they are further immortalized by the 6 o'clock news in a 30 second news bit that is played over and over and over.
In 2009 the Black Eyed Peas released a song called "Where is the Love" which, from the first moment, has struck a chord in me. It perfectly addresses everything that is wrong with the world we are living in. Of course by now, 6 years later, the lyrics while still meaningful are inadequate in their suggestion.
We can go on believing today that we are all for one and one for all but if we are realistic; that has not been the case since the first anniversary of 9/11. That is what makes me sad the most.
-Peace
Then it's here. And I dress as I normally do, I don't set out to do anything special to commemorate it; I just think and feel sad.
I think about what I was doing for every minute of that day from the moment Scott and Todd reported that a plane flew into the first tower - when everyone still thought it was a weird accident. Walking into my office building with my supervisor, Jeff Reynolds, and others...Turning on the television to watch the coverage and seeing; SEEING a second plane fly into the other tower!
It was the most surreal moment and we all freaked out. Nothing confirmed yet about hijacked airplanes, that was still an unthinkable option.
Then the reports came in... 2 other planes.... Pentagon......missing plane..... all airtraffic downed. The phone lines all jammed up. Trying to reach my husband in the city, calling my sister in law's office line just 2 blocks over from the trade center. Calling my mother in law. The day care center where my kids were. The cousins who are FDNY.
It was just one long nightmarish day.
So, today is the day. Already at 9a.m. I've shed tears as I read on Facebook everyone's memories. As I watch the Budweiser commercial, and listen to songs, And I think about all of the lives lost not just that day but in the years following:
From the war on terror that is still going on
From the cancers that have been diagnosed from working at ground zero in all of that horrible aftermath
From the lives taken due to despair and distress of living without loved ones, and PTSD
Then I think about how this country of people - who came together so beautifully in the aftermath of that tragic day - has slowly over 14 years erroded into the very kind of people that the terrorists so despise and hoped to turn us into. We fight among ourselves, Adults and children are self centered and grasping. Everything is a joke to be posted on Facebook and Youtube and Instagram. Someone's shame is another person's viral video..and then they are further immortalized by the 6 o'clock news in a 30 second news bit that is played over and over and over.
In 2009 the Black Eyed Peas released a song called "Where is the Love" which, from the first moment, has struck a chord in me. It perfectly addresses everything that is wrong with the world we are living in. Of course by now, 6 years later, the lyrics while still meaningful are inadequate in their suggestion.
We can go on believing today that we are all for one and one for all but if we are realistic; that has not been the case since the first anniversary of 9/11. That is what makes me sad the most.
-Peace
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Making contacts
In the last few months i've been working diligently (or rather more diligently than my usual wont) to make new contacts and firm up the existing ones I have. I've done a few searches on people that I would like to reach out to and i've reconnected with a few others. My LinkedIn profile is evolving - I've joined professional groups - I read lots of stuff from others.
The reason for doing this is to further my efforts to find my purpose. Its not that I believe these people can do something specific for me, maybe they can; it's more my hope that just being in touch with them will open different doors for me. Doors that I had not thought to peek into before.
My friend, Caryn, is finishing her undergrad degree online. That was never something I had considered because I didn't think I had the discipline to do what was needed. I knew other people who were able to go far...aside from just the undergrad. Another friend not only finished her undergrad and became a nurse but then went on to become a Nurse Practitioner. Yes, she is nearly 50 years old but she made a goal for herself and saw it to fruition. THAT to me is finding your purpose.
So Caryn is going through SUNY Empire State - and she encouraged me to look into it as well. I'm terrified of the debt that I already have for college...but I am intrigued by the idea of finishing my degree NOT in Business management because ICK YUCK that is what i am currently embroiled in. Business. and I don't want to be in "business" BUT there are other things like BS in Human Development w/concentration in Psychology or BS in Public Affairs w/concentration in Criminal Justice. SO much more interesting and I'm pretty confident that I have tons of credits that will roll into those degree options. Thank you Caryn and Cheryl for your inspiration to start.
As I start this process, (i've requested my transcripts from SCCC & Adelphi) beginning with an information session on the 19th and hopefully moving on from there, i will blog about it. I'm hopeful that I have the willpower to go through with it. I pray that I will find my purpose while embroiled within it. and I encourage everyone to take a step towards doing something that will make a change for them.
Look for more from me on this.... if anyone is even reading any of this. :)
Stay tuned.
The reason for doing this is to further my efforts to find my purpose. Its not that I believe these people can do something specific for me, maybe they can; it's more my hope that just being in touch with them will open different doors for me. Doors that I had not thought to peek into before.
My friend, Caryn, is finishing her undergrad degree online. That was never something I had considered because I didn't think I had the discipline to do what was needed. I knew other people who were able to go far...aside from just the undergrad. Another friend not only finished her undergrad and became a nurse but then went on to become a Nurse Practitioner. Yes, she is nearly 50 years old but she made a goal for herself and saw it to fruition. THAT to me is finding your purpose.
So Caryn is going through SUNY Empire State - and she encouraged me to look into it as well. I'm terrified of the debt that I already have for college...but I am intrigued by the idea of finishing my degree NOT in Business management because ICK YUCK that is what i am currently embroiled in. Business. and I don't want to be in "business" BUT there are other things like BS in Human Development w/concentration in Psychology or BS in Public Affairs w/concentration in Criminal Justice. SO much more interesting and I'm pretty confident that I have tons of credits that will roll into those degree options. Thank you Caryn and Cheryl for your inspiration to start.
As I start this process, (i've requested my transcripts from SCCC & Adelphi) beginning with an information session on the 19th and hopefully moving on from there, i will blog about it. I'm hopeful that I have the willpower to go through with it. I pray that I will find my purpose while embroiled within it. and I encourage everyone to take a step towards doing something that will make a change for them.
Look for more from me on this.... if anyone is even reading any of this. :)
Stay tuned.
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