Managing a new existence, in a new state, in a new house is stressful.  Regrets are always at the back of my mind.  Should we have sold our home in Center Moriches? Left our wonderful friends and neighbors? Uprooted our youngest from the only home he knew and pulled the rug out from under the older two - denying them their comfortable landing place when they return home? 

Living 1,000 miles away from friends and family, having to establish new professional relationships with doctors, leaving a job I really liked and not finding something similar in the new area to replace that income, and on top of all that the new mortgage for the new house is more than any mortgage I've had in the past - COMBINED!  Its stressful. 

And I don't love it there.  I kind of wish I could just sell it but Jay hasn't had a chance to live there yet because - HE is still up here in NY.  So, that wouldn't be fair.  But its not fair to me to have basically abandoned me to this new existence.  I kind of feel resentful.  So, back to NY I go at least temporarily....

I'll pretend for the moment to be a snowbird.  I'll rent out our Florida home and try to make some cash off it.  I'll see if I can get some Long Island dog sitting jobs this summer, I'll hang out with my friends, and laugh with them in the same room and have cocktails with them in the same backyards.  I'll live my normal existence for at least the next 5 months.  Maybe I will get the courage to utilize my yoga certification and teach.  I've also started an Italian language course.  Italy Made Easy.  I'm on lesson 7.  Its an online course, and its very easy to follow but I went and bought a workbook as well as a Complete Italian step-by-step to complement it.  I'm determined.  

Wherever this spring and summer take me, I hope that I make peace with the relocation to Florida, eventually.